Back in the year 2000 I lived with Tim Brennan and Conor Grogan in a filthy share house in Thornbury. None of us could cook, but I was still taken aback one evening when Tim served us up one of the worst meals I’ve ever eaten. Afterwards, in a spirit of horrified awe, I wrote down the recipe. For years I thought I’d lost it, but this morning, cleaning out some old boxes I found the recipe for….
Tim’s Terrible Tea
1 – Boil potato and pumpkin till soft, mash, mix with raw onion and whole garlic cloves then press into base of casserole dish.
2 – Top with cauliflower and mushroom.
3 – Sprinkle with pumpkin seeds, linseed, pepper, garam masala and cardamom seed.
4 – Make dodgy vegetarian ‘white sauce’ by heating soy milk and adding cornflour till you achieve a lumpy liquid. Pour over vegetables.
5 – Daub with tomato paste and cover with strange chocolate coloured yoghurt you keep in the fridge.
6 – Bake in a hot oven until the top is black and the vegetables are hot, but have not begun to cook.
7 – Serve.